10 Years of Marriage

At 2:00 pm today, Friday, June 17, my husband and I will have been married ten years. It seems forever ago since that day. Yet not. 

A full marital decade is a heck of a lot of daily time spent together. We’ve grown into adulthood side by side. 
Matured.

Changed. 

Although I may have “changed” the most. He’s been my true constant. My stable rock. I could dedicate a hymn to him even, but Jesus might get jealous. 

Ten years from the day we said “I DO”….

I still love holding his hand. 

He still hugs me tight the moment he arrives home. 

We both cry til we laugh at cheesy TV dramas, and laugh til we cry during How I Met Your Mother binges. 

He’ll cook dinner. 

I wire and install all home electronics. 

He does bedtime and bath with the kids. 

I do morning school drops and all daytime appointments. 

He builds things for me. 

I send off the bills and keep our calendar straight. 

He’s the stable one during emergencies. 

I cut his hair and make sure he gets new socks before his big toe pokes through. 

He’s the best friend I most like to hang with on Friday nights.  

I’m his favorite dinner date. 

His face is stamped on my children. 

My initials are tattooed on his right wrist. 

He’s made me more social and accepting of the world around me. 

I’ve anchored him to a steady port when he once wandered lost. 

We’re best friends. 
We protect each other. 

We annoy each other. 

We rely on each other. 

We spend way too much time time together. Yet still never enough. 

I can’t wrap my brain around marriages where spouses don’t spend a lot of time together. I would implode from the inside out. He would too. We can barely stand to be apart in the evenings! Functionality in life would completely vanish. 

Perhaps we are co-dependent? 

Modern American society claims that’s a bad thing. Is it really?
We aren’t in a fairy tale. 

It’s real life. 

It’s life in a world full of Ashley Madisons and Josh Duggars. 

Sometimes we communicate desires and needs well. 

Sometimes we don’t. 

We don’t have a perfect relationship. We are terribly flawed. We have high highs and low lows. We accidentally hurt each other. 

We’ve crumbled under lofty issues at times and have slowly had to rebuild ourselves again. 

We tell each other the embarrassing things. The hard things. The discussions you don’t want to have with anyone. 

And we’ve talked in depth about the difference in societal ideals of marriage and what reality actually slaps us in the face with. 

And we are both pretty adept at apologizing. 
And then we have real fun together. 

We do really stupid things together. 

And we put up with each other. 

Minute by minute. 

Hour by hour. 

Day in. Day out. 

Still. 

Somehow. 

Ten years down. 

Perhaps we can go ten more. 

He’s is not a social media whore like I am, but he always tells me that he enjoys keeping up with my little daily ramblings. And he says he misses me when I take hiatuses. 

And things I say mean a lot to him. 

Plus his complements on my writing still make me feel like a blushing school girl. 🙂 He still claims he’s my biggest fan. 

He does so many little things that mean a lot to me and he doesn’t get enough credit during the course of a busy day where so often our only conversation revolves around dinner and our 4 kids schedules. 

Therefore I credit him during the quiet moments. So he knows I *still* think of him when he’s away. 

Even after ten years of marriage. 

Because good people deserve credit. 

For in the end, the battles we face in life are far more endurable when we know someone recognizes and appreciates our efforts. 

Author: Lisa Cole

Lisa Cole is a freelance writer and social media specialist skilled in non-profit marketing and grass roots advertising. This mother of four weaves humor, emotion and depth into stories about parenthood and life in the American South.